she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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