She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
