i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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