Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
