Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
