i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
