And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize