That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
