we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
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There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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