Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize