Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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