guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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