Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Church boner. Awkwardddd
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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