who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
