If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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