Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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