C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize