loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
