i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
