last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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