Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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