i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
