Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(413): View more from Massachusetts

i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.

Fav 17 1093 2591
share tweet
(865): View more from Tennessee

Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.

Fav 31 5356 878
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(513): View more from Ohio

I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this

Fav 13 4563 1244
share tweet
(404): View more from Georgia

hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.

Fav 38 4770 7808
share tweet
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(815): View more from Illinois

Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye

Fav 12 1477 2984
share tweet
(770): View more from Georgia

He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out

Fav 7 1204 2940
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(919): View more from North Carolina

So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.

Fav 16 4131 2094
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(828): View more from North Carolina

Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.

Fav 7 2994 1061
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(630): View more from Illinois

I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.

Fav 1 33 55
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT