Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
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Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
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I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption