i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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