You smell like stripper and shame
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
