Texts From Last Night

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  (417): View more from Missouri

  true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!

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  (417): true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever! http://tfl.nu/5efq
  Replies (14) Good night (988) Bad night (2789)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!

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  (360): Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher! http://tfl.nu/zrl8
  Replies (34) Good night (6760) Bad night (612)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.

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  (313): you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones. http://tfl.nu/7zc6
  Replies (3) Good night (4432) Bad night (886)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.

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  (480): I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts. http://tfl.nu/t2zp
  Replies (32) Good night (898) Bad night (8034)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.

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  (509): My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment. http://tfl.nu/j2q1
  Replies (9) Good night (5567) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too

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  (360): I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too http://tfl.nu/ui5h
  Replies (6) Good night (3340) Bad night (1236)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.

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  (941): its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though. http://tfl.nu/5tqm
  Replies (10) Good night (5269) Bad night (1073)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?

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  (778): He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I? http://tfl.nu/r6dy
  Replies (19) Good night (2055) Bad night (3673)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.

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  (313): I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many. http://tfl.nu/e16i
  Replies (6) Good night (2329) Bad night (1352)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.

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  (214): Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff. http://tfl.nu/wfam
  Replies (3) Good night (521) Bad night (1267)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.

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  (248): Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly. http://tfl.nu/v2ig
  Replies (16) Good night (1175) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket

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  (859): Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket http://tfl.nu/ka4g
  Replies (5) Good night (578) Bad night (1390)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work

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  (778): First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work http://tfl.nu/03ii
  Replies (12) Good night (2402) Bad night (509)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..

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  (740): I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation.. http://tfl.nu/kwny
  Replies (1) Good night (313) Bad night (657)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore

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  (+44): Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore http://tfl.nu/dh34
  Replies (0) Good night (444) Bad night (250)

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