His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina