All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.