at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
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You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
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Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.