hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
