Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(601): View more from Mississippi

i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"

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(742): View more from

What happened last night?

(1-742): View more from

You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.

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(518): View more from New York

i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.

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(708): View more from Illinois

Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(802): View more from Vermont

I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.

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(254): View more from Texas

Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."

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(716): View more from New York

she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper

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(410): View more from Maryland

Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.

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(586): View more from Michigan

We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.

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