If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
God I need to hump something, right now.
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