i don't like sucking hair
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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