It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize