You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
