I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize