1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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