I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
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He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize