saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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