I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
