just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize