So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
time to smoke my breakfast
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
