I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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