We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
we have pet lesbian snakes
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
