I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
