Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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