Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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