he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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