First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
