How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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