Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
