"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
