Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
