Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
