they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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