fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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