i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My life is pants optional.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
