just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
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