Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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