if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
