They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
