why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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