if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
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