Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
