those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
