SEEEEXXX PLEASE
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She bit a glass in half.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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