I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Randomize
