can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
