My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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