sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
